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Have you ever been so confused and troubled in your life?
Have you ever been so out of love yet you still continue to love?
Have you ever been full of emotions yet you feel numb?
Have you ever been tired and exhausted but dont how to stop?
Have you ever been strong and weak at the same time?
Have you ever been stupid and smart everytime?

I feel chaos, I feel pain..
All these troubles I didnt know how I did gain...
My head's gonna explode
My heart's so torn
My soul is ruptured....


----this is unfinished......




I created this poem, way back in college, when I was in a relationship with someone who really created a big void in my heart, anyway, that was in the past. I'm glad I have this poem to remember him and to remember the lessons I learn from it.

VOID

Along the depths of my soul
I’m longing, still searchin’
For that certain thing that i really don’t know
Deep within me, that infinite emptiness doesn’t subside…
Though I have tried everything just to ease it little by little.

The void of my sanity keeps on haunting me a little more each day
Tryin’ to capture and dominate my whole being
What is it about this lack that keeps on tormenting me…?
What is it about this absence that keeps on
creating such confusion within my solemn soul…?
Why is my life so much troubled with this undying want
that cannot be fulfilled…?

You’re the need unescapable.
Something that encompasses my imagination
with the vivid reality before me
That no matter how hard I try…
How helplessly I convince myself…

Still… I am not complete.

its bEEn LoNg...

It has been months since my last post andI truly missed doing all these. I missed sharing my thoughts, I missed thinking for the right words and I missed typing...hahhaha...

But now I'm back and I'm gonna fill the void here in my blogsite...hopefully...

"tHis is mE"


I'd like to start my first post for the month of October with inspiration so I'd like to share this song and hope that one day I can sing this at the top of my lungs fully inspired with just "being me".


CAMP ROCK - THIS IS ME BY DEMI LOVATO and THE JONAS BROTHERS


I've always been the kind of girl
That hid my face
So afraid to tell the world
What I've got to say
But I have this dream
Right inside of me
I'm gonna let it show, it's time
To let you know
To let you know


Chorus:

This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me


Do you know what it's like
To feel so in the dark
To dream about a life
Where you're the shining star
Even though it seems
Like it's too far awayI have to believe in myself
It's the only way


Chorus:
This is real, This is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me


You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singingI need to find you,
I gotta find you
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of meI need to find you,
I gotta find you
This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me (this is me)
You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me
















Whew! I just had not really the best but quite special experience hanging out in BaniOkreek. It was not all fun and scenes, it was also a drag and a really feet aching, legs and muscles crying kind of adventure. I have to literally catch my breath going up and down in this one of a kind place. It sure beats the common pools and resorts I've been to. If you're a certified nature freak, this one's for you. The long way drive, the muddy road and zigzag path and then the breath stopping stairs that you have to climb down below to reach the resort. It all adds up to the whole new meaning of Team Building. We spent just a day and a night on this place but I can't get it out of my head, I'm from Cavite myself but I never realized and truly appreaciate how great this place is. Until I sit down on my team mate's car, watch the view from a moving vehicle and experience nature myself. Watching Taal from a moving vehicle is not great compare to watching it all the way down from an overlooking hotel or resort nearby. It depicts a calm, scenic and a makes you want the climb the top of the mountain feeling. I have few shots of it and I really blew it off when all I can capture is just a peek of the mountain, well what more can you do when you're inside a very much fast moving vehicle, ayt? Well, were not really there for the view of Taal anyway we're in Cavite, in a place called Baniokreek, a spot located in the very much hidden location in Tagaytay and Silang to spend our first Real team building. Pretty much basically to bond the team and promote camaraderie...yada..yada...hahha...So much for the meaning of team bulding, I dont intend to fill my blog with the mere meaning of it. I intend to share the fun, the experience, the scenes and everything I can literally can't get my head to stop thinking.
Okay, let's start from the top, when you arrive on the place, you'll be greeted with a yellow gate along with the name of the place and then they have a spacious parking lot surrounded with trees and plants. On the middle sits a bench with the cliff just a few steps back, imagine stepping on the wrong side of the ground and you'll be downhill, way down down deep, into your death, hahahha...Now, entering the resort you'll be welcome with a very long yellow stairs down below, that you really dont think its leading some place else below. Within all the way half of going down, you will see the pool, a sign that says 142 therapeautic steps, well, I really hope it did worked because if there's anything else that my feet and legs needs right now after suffering those terrible steps its a huge massage and weeks of theraphy. Anyway, as I was saying, there's a small pool, a bar, kitchen, a huge veranda, a billiard table, videoke room and a few steps up , the room where you can stay. Now, I thought this will be our stop, unfortunately, we're just halfway there, we had to go thru another 142 steps down below before we've reach our final destination, but it was definitely worth the wait. Down below is videoke room, a huge place to stay, a bar and a kicthen and the creek below overlooking under the veranda. There's a lot of Christmas trees and they were gorgeous, wish I can put one of them on my bag and bring it home. Once we get there they started right away with the videoke while some of us are busy preparing lunch, some are unpacking and some are taking pictures. We spent the overnight accompanied by the huge rain so we cant go swim because we'll freeze to death, knowing were in Tagaytay, the second summer capital of the world, swimming will be like dipping yourself into pure ice. So the next day, it was a sunny morning and so there we started swimming and man, its still so cold, and then when the wind blew it'll be like so cold, you'll see your breath in the air when you speak. Despite of the cold, we stayed in the pool for more than 2 hours, talking laughing and gossipping, talk about team building huh? Well, after that we ate lunch and went headed for home. We had a few stop-overs like, going to Pink Sisters Chapel and dropped our wishes, they buy pasalubong like sweets and fruits. All in all, I can't really translate each detail into word cos it will probably consume all the space here in my site but it was a fantastic experience and if given a chance I'd like to go back to that place and experience the place differently.





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